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u·s elections; polling 

the polls: we have absolutely no way of predicting who will win the upcoming presidential election

everybody: here’s why you shouldn’t trust the polls!!

@coriander my girlfriend does epiphany for Eating Delicious Kings Cake reasons so we might end up in a weird state in a few years where we just skip christmas and stick everything on Twelfth Night and Jan 6

(a date which is now made awkward for other reasons, but, ugh)

@coriander but no it’s awkward for me because we have a whole lot of traditions but i don’t believe in any of the things those traditions are meant to represent

like, we do advent? kinda hard to justify that one in a non-Christian context? but i’m still gonna light the candles??

@coriander winter lesbian is a lot cooler because winter is also about death

halloween lesbians get it a lot easier; everybody believes in death

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i’d probably be a christmas lesbian if i believed in christ but uh

@coriander Happiest Season (2020) was alright it had one good scene

@coriander Christmas Lesbians are like lets make cocoa and listen to Ingrid Michaelson together, but then there’s also the kind of Christmas Gay who gets off on roleplaying Santa / His Elves / His Reindeer

@wallhackio the four teams in NFC East are

• Eagles
• Giants
• Commanders
• Cowboys

the Commanders are notorious for previously having had a terrible racist name and a terrible asshole owner. they have a different name and owner now but their fans are still sus in my book

the Cowboys are the Cowboys. okay if i’m being fair Cowboys fans are more known for their misogyny than their racism but fuck the Cowboys either way

so if you’re in Philadelphia, and the Eagles don’t make it to the playoffs, you better hope the Giants are going instead

this isn’t a poll because i don’t care what the answer is

i have my ways and that’s good enough for me

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do you have to climb on top of your girlfriend and strip out of your daytime clothes before you can put on pyjamas or is there another way?

@wallhackio i figured lions fans would be used to them losing by now

maybe someday washington can be redeemed now that it is no longer owned by daniel snyder but it is still way too fucking soon for that

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today i had to explain to my girlfriend that even though the eagles and the giants might have a fierce rivalry, as someone living philadelphia-adjacent i’d still rather the giants win than either of the other two teams in the division

and same goes for anyone who isn’t a racist

@coriander i think specifically the Bronx; otherwise, root Mets

@coriander baseball is the sport where everybody competes to see who gets the privilege of defeating the yankees in the world series

@coriander it just feels like it goes against the spirit of the game to root FOR the yankees, to me

hey quick question as i don’t follow baseball; why do the Yankees have fans?

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