Lady of the Land @Lady@cat.family

if you're going to mention link walking in on zelda when she is nearly naked, the least you could do is try to sell it

i say this because this is the default mode of interaction for white people, and so the only way to foil it is to target your translation specifically at them

honestly if white people don’t horribly misunderstand your translation and populate it with their own pre·existing beliefs about the world, it probably isn’t very good

i don't care about the new mechanics where are the plot writeups

dating simulator

i think the part of the story which is not a blowjob is a little bit of a slog to get through and not very interesting so like. not exactly a rec regarding the fic as a whole but the author is not terrible at smut

7/10 blowjob!

pros:
- the bit leading up to it has some nice moments
- generally pretty good progression for a first time blowjob fic
- kind of silly and absurd at times in harmless ways

cons:
- the pacing has some starts and stops and the beginning especially doesn't quite land right
- i think it is a bit too committed to exposition at the expense of vibes
- zelda is a little TOO into it lol

unlike 90% of blowjob fic authors apparently, this one knows the word “cock”

this fic is the sequel to what i consider one of the greatest Breath of the Wild smutfics ever; i’ve read it before but remember thinking it not quite as good as its predecessor. we’ll see if it can get a passing grade on the blowjob count!

https://blog.ladys.computer/2023-05-06/touch_grass/

RA isn’t saying “ignorance is bliss” here; he’s saying “you who claim to be savvy about the system, the proof is in whether you adhere to its brokenness, or whether you oppose it with crime”

maybe also going so far as to pose the question “if you aren’t committing crimes against the system, how much knowledge of it do you really have?”

it wasn’t the last of them 1/10

this one really seems like it goes with (13) and (14) but unlike those two it has been orphaned

1/10 and i’m PRETTY SURE this is the last of them

same author as (13); same rating

« "Damn, Tetra. Why are you so good at driving me crazy?" he moaned, "I'm gonna explode! I'm gonna cum so much in this tender mouth of yours!" »

1.5/10 blowjob; it really doesn’t deserve that but it’s kind of so bad it’s amusing

« Although I've never had any regrets about the way I've lived my life, I'm aware that I'm far from being a truly feminine girl. I've tried to change that a little bit for him by sampling perfumes and letting my hair down more often, but my breasts still aren't nearly as big as a lot of those bimbos we see on some of the city streets. » DOES TETRA THINK SAMPLING PERFUMES MAKES YOUR BOOBS BIG

« He has a light scent of soaps and shampoos, but it's not enough to conceal that manly stench built up from all the laboring he's been doing on my ship and that's the stuff I can't get enough of. »

this one is in the first person!!