Lady of Misrule @Lady@cat.family

me: i’m not a liberal

anarchist: i’m not either; i’m a socialist libertarian

me: ok but that’s worse

i generally agree with anarchist visions for autonomous communities but disagree strongly with anarchist visions for autonomous individuals

really depends who you ask lmao

all vanilla extract!

don’t floppy that copy

1/10 blowjob it was like ten seconds of fantasy barely even counts

« You’re beautiful too. I will admit I’ve only ever seen the male anatomy from science books, but you’re – you’re perfect. » just casually admitting that you read science books for the dick pics to your boyfriend

« Link gets a half hour to desperately will his erection away before Zelda calls him back. » somehow, this doesn’t mean “masturbate”

this author apparently thinks seeing someone in their underwear is Extremely Scandalous

2/10 blowjob and i’m being kind of arbitrary here

zelda fans love using the word “skyward” to describe the direction of Link’s dick

i can’t even be mad about it; canonically, Zelda WOULD be one to say « Your passion shows no bound. Please, release yourself from your prison so we can further our love. »

as the camera does a slow zoom in on Link’s crotch to make sure you understood the message

every one of these lines is exactly the type of terrible dialogue that Nintendo of America would absolutely have Zelda say

« After their extended kissing session, Link parted his mouth from Zelda’s and looked around in puzzlement.

“The Malice is still here,” he said.

Zelda’s gaze turned determined. “Then we must go further. With hatred this strong, we must counter with an even stronger act of love!” » NOW it is time to defeat the Calamity with the holy light of my vagina!!

i hate that i read this in her voice

« “Malice is a substance of pure evil, pure hatred,” began Zelda. “So, the most surefire way of countering it is an act of pure love.” A rosy red flushed her cheeks as a smile began to creep back onto her face.

Link’s eyes widened in shock and he swallowed in surprise, but soon gave way and nodded.

“Good idea,” Link said. » time to defeat the Calamity with the holy light of my vagina

straight girls on the other hand are very observant and figure out the basics of how dicks work pretty fast

i think this is because most boys don't know how their own dicks work

the ones who do write better smut

boys in general like fantasizing about hot images while girls care more about logic and science and vaguely plausible mechanics