Lady of Longing @Lady@cat.family

« She takes a second to absorb this, then tentatively lays a hand on his arm. “Do you not want to have sex with me?”

Link closes his eyes. Breathes out, slowly, through his nose. “Of course I want to.” » oh my god you two have been fucking literally this entire story

not only for being trapped in a bottle but also for having to bear witness to these two

« There’s a fairy in a bottle strung up on the ceiling support, casting a soft pink glow on her puzzled expression » okay this is an interesting lighting choice and also poor fairy

if you can make safe and effective birth control out of armoranth then you can probably also use it to make feminizing HRT right

« “The seeds can be ground and boiled into an elixir,” she says. “As long as it’s taken consistently, it’s very effective at preventing conception.” » ah yes the long-awaited birth control potion because of course we couldn't end the fic there

for those following along, no the author didn't figure out how to describe a dick and yes that means their entire blowjob segment was like two paragraphs 2/10

of course there is porn in the zelda universe but is there that very particular flavour of porn stigma?

this author seems to think blowjobs are severely more kinky than cunnilingus

« This feels… dirty. Almost pornographic. Vulgar bordering on obscene. »

« There’s a wet spot on her underwear; Link actually has to take a moment and do some deep breathing when he sees it—because *he* did that, he did that to her » oh my god he should be concerned if he hadn’t

this work has almost four thousand kudos by the way and yes over half of those are from logged-in users

i think this author is actively afraid of actually referring to a dick by any sort of name; they’re doing much better but they’re entirely describing motions and not body parts

this works alright for a handjob but when we get to the blowjob part they’re just going to have to deal with the fact that Link has a cock

« —when Zelda suddenly gasps so loudly he almost oversalts the meat. »

this is the same author as (3) so let’s see if they’ve learned what a dick is since then

this is a 4/10 blowjob which i hate because the writing is horrendous but it at least has some attempt at a structure to it

« After all they had only been married for a little over a week now and both had been virgins till then, however that one night changed everything. » they had sex

wow 3/10 blowjob it seemed to be going somewhere but was profoundly anticlimactic

trying to figure out what kind of relationship link and zelda have where he would intentionally twitch his dick “to mess with her”

« He twitched under her grasp, a movement that still kind of squicked her out. She remember being amused to no end when he demonstrated that he could make it twitch at will, she never knew if he was doing it intentionally to mess with her, or if it was a natural bodily reaction. » utterly fascinating internal dialogue here

« Although she had seen it countless times, the si[z]e of his cock always made her face turn bright red. » seems like a problem

« He was of average size » wait what

that said i am totally skimming this fic i do not care about your copypasta backstories