Lady of the Land @Lady@cat.family

zelda’s dirty talk works fine in this fic but i would find it so annoying if anyone ever talked to me like this in real life

they named their baby Zeik

« Link could feel his headache grow more and more. He was well aware when he agreed to take up the title of King of Hyrule that boring political conversations would have to be added to his repertoire of skills » “boring political conversations” = the gerudo are starving because their trade routes are all blocked

the canonical tag is “Breast Fucking”

this one is also tagged “Tit job”, which is not a canonical tag

Keep
It
Simple,
Supercilious
Upstart

also oxymoronic but i digress

me: i’m not a liberal

anarchist: i’m not either; i’m a socialist libertarian

me: ok but that’s worse

i generally agree with anarchist visions for autonomous communities but disagree strongly with anarchist visions for autonomous individuals

really depends who you ask lmao

all vanilla extract!

don’t floppy that copy

1/10 blowjob it was like ten seconds of fantasy barely even counts

« You’re beautiful too. I will admit I’ve only ever seen the male anatomy from science books, but you’re – you’re perfect. » just casually admitting that you read science books for the dick pics to your boyfriend

« Link gets a half hour to desperately will his erection away before Zelda calls him back. » somehow, this doesn’t mean “masturbate”

this author apparently thinks seeing someone in their underwear is Extremely Scandalous

2/10 blowjob and i’m being kind of arbitrary here

zelda fans love using the word “skyward” to describe the direction of Link’s dick

i can’t even be mad about it; canonically, Zelda WOULD be one to say « Your passion shows no bound. Please, release yourself from your prison so we can further our love. »

as the camera does a slow zoom in on Link’s crotch to make sure you understood the message