Lady of the Land @Lady@cat.family

« It isn’t enough anymore that still Link touches her with reverence and makes love to her like she’s made from porcelain » what does this mean

it is like, “omg normally we would be having totally boring missionary sex but Link remembered a lewd comment he made a hundred years ago and so decided to eat me out instead!! for the first time!!”

« He feels her trembling with anticipation, her kisses frantic, and he doesn’t miss the soft, confused noise she makes when he removes his mouth from hers to kiss down her neck, to lavish attention to one perfect breast, and to continue his journey down her torso, to dip his tongue briefly into her navel, and travel lower. »

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN FUCKING
IF THIS IS CAUSING HER CONFUSION

WOW this is the straightest thing i have ever read

« Zelda had laughed, and Link had to squash down the wild surge of affection at the sound. » why

honestly i was debating even counting this one since it’s a threesome and mostly not blowjob content, but technically there is some blowjob-adjacent content happening 2/10

hmm 6/10 blowjob i think; pretty okay but zelda is clearly more focused on being kinky than being responsive

« Her Sheikah training had included breathing exercises and training for holding one’s breath, knowledge that Zelda eagerly called upon » we’ve made it she’s finally got him in her mouth

« Instead she wrapped her right hand, the hand bearing the symbol of the Triforce, around his length and began to stroke very gently. » THAT PARENTHETICAL

oh, Link is so good at eating Zelda out because of his past lives

thank god for Zelda’s special princess training that allows Link to grind against her in a mating press

« Zelda closed the curtains and gave Link a knowing smile. » but Link could not see it, for it was fucking dark

« her breasts were the perfect middle ground between size and comfort, being attractive without being distracting » size and comfort……

« The two of you are linked through fate and the Triforce, which is stronger than any bond of marriage either of you may engage in. » justifications for cuckoldry

recognizing the precarious position ordon is in as a protectorate but not proper province of hyrule after a war which hit them the hardest?? in MY zelink blowjob fic??

« “You see, I’ve been in contact with someone you know very well.” Zelda showed Link a letter that was folded in half backwards, showing only the upper part. Looking at it Link recognized the handwriting of Mayor Bo asking how Link was doing and was immediately pulled from his musings. He looked at the princess again. “The two of us have been negotiating about the safety of Ordon, and we’ve reached the final steps of our diplomatic exchange. Now, to get to an arrangement we have to meet somewhere, and I believe that it is more likely to succeed if I were to visit him instead of him visiting me. Additionally, going there without a standard royal escort will be less beneficial than arriving more modestly. I’m there to help, not to conquer.” » holy shit this shitty fanfic just jumped several places higher in my ranking on account of this paragraph

Spirit Tracks, or, Zelda learns the importance of hard work and not leaving your country’s infrastructure projects in the hands of demons from hell

actually in the post-credits scene in Spirit Tracks she is shown doing some kind of work presumably because her underling turned out to be an evil demon bent on resurrecting a bigger evil demon who wanted to destroy Hyrule’s rail infrastructure and also take over the world

« Link didn’t envy her: running a kingdom is hard work. » has zelda ever once been shown doing this work

this is a Twilight Princess fic so her parents died like a year ago it’s fine

« Zelda herself had been busy as well, with her coronation being in two weeks » we’re just going to ignore the implication of the deaths of her parents