Lady of the Land @Lady@cat.family

things zelda canonically does in the hit series the legend of zelda:

• take pictures
• be a picture

this fic was written by a they/them and i just want to ask: why

« Zelda shivered at his words. She loved when Link's suggestions turned into demands » what

i really did not need to know the colour of her underwear

i cannot overstate how completely unaroused i am by this author’s writing style

the problem with reading poorly-written smut is i just want to write it better

« But something like this, something so scandalous, had never happened. » send your guesses as to the scandalous thing in the replies

« Zelda rolled her eyes. She’d had sex with her boyfriend plenty of times before. » thank you i definitely needed to know that

« You’re not a toy, Link, you’re my soulmate. » wow way to crush a guy’s dreams

yes it is; thanks for noticing but this isn’t exactly news to me

that point when talking to someone where they go “wait, your life is kind of fucked up, actually”

when it turns out the fix is very simple

ok

hashtag users be like… grassroots boosting and sharing is not good enough… my post must reach the randos

make tea… eat brekkies… wait for my brain to wake up… now it is time for lunch… digestion… hmm dinnertime dinnertime… where did the day go

unicode this looks bad

just a cute animal who wants to be your friend and eat your food

is this solarpunk

why move consciously through the world when you could just lie in the sun and snooze

this engagement survey is not addressed to me so i’m not keen on taking it