Lady of Longing @Lady@cat.family

i am not convinced the author has ever attempted the sex act being described to me right now

we have reached the part where they put “licked” in italics

that’s how you know it’s hot, the font change

this author writes pretty good dialogue which is a real shame because as soon as they started trying to fuck each other they stopped talking

leverage your strengths!!

« now Link made a noise, though this noise was one of shock. In response, Zelda simply kissed him harder, and that seemed to work » this does not work do not do this

woof woof woof bark

moaning is very human i haven’t heard many animals moan

what do fanfic authors think “animalistic” noises sound like? what kind of animal, do you think?

i’m very unconvinced these characterizations resemble canon

they’re doing the whole “Zelda secretly watched Link masturbate while they were on the road together” trope but they are failing to be horny about it

despite these things they are really bad at romantic tension, or romance in general; they are clearly eager to get to the fucking part of the story because this part is making my eyes glaze over

this author also knows that Zelda is taller than Link and thinks Link is horny about it

so far zelda and link are both being set up as disaster bisexuals

this guy has written SEVENTEEN Link/Zelda blowjob fics and i’m not optimistic about any of them

🐶

humility is not the ability to front
it’s when you willingly work for what you want

maybe i just restrict it to the 20th and 21st of each tyde

the problem is that this is a very fuzzy line

strongly considering placing all my software-related personal projects on hold for the next year

if lab* records had a subscription where they just send you a CD in the mail every month, i’d probably go for it t·b·h

these are not things which can be fixed by the government. these are not things which can be fixed by resisting the government. these are things we need to fix