Lady of the Land @Lady@cat.family

(i don’t follow the mastodon but i do follow its RSS)

i don’t know what’s going on over there i’m stopped checking once serebii made a mastodon

the world cup didn’t kill twitter, the world cup ending did?? is that right??

spicy instant korean ramen… spicy offbrand ginger beer… tortillas

in fairness, the first time this happened i broke up with them

“aren't you living in like, the worst possible place” yeah

“isn’t it super lonely and isolating” yes

“why don’t you leave??” well you see people keep saying they’ll help me move and then they break up with me

long for a girlfriend i can just send excerpts of smutfics to and be like “does this… make sense to you??”

the worst part about fics like this is how they basically make me question everything

“is this… is this actually an accurate description?? is my understanding of how sex works way off???”

zelda fans: i will conveniently ignore the very strange lack of selfies by zelda in the sheikah slate and also the very obvious reason why this might be

in fairness she was not turned into a picture by choice, and i actually usually write BotW zelda with dysphoria (i mean obviously… which is why she didn't leave link with any pictures of HERSELF), but

things zelda canonically does in the hit series the legend of zelda:

• take pictures
• be a picture

this fic was written by a they/them and i just want to ask: why

« Zelda shivered at his words. She loved when Link's suggestions turned into demands » what

i really did not need to know the colour of her underwear

i cannot overstate how completely unaroused i am by this author’s writing style

the problem with reading poorly-written smut is i just want to write it better

« But something like this, something so scandalous, had never happened. » send your guesses as to the scandalous thing in the replies

« Zelda rolled her eyes. She’d had sex with her boyfriend plenty of times before. » thank you i definitely needed to know that

« You’re not a toy, Link, you’re my soulmate. » wow way to crush a guy’s dreams