Lady of the Land @Lady@cat.family

Last chance to be a kid with a cereal box: Had a dream in your head, but you woke up and lost it, and you only get a few more candles before you’re too old to try again,

to be a wreck,
to get the sympathy of friends,
who see that you’re not there yet,
but they say that you’ll get there,

and then all of a sudden you’re a bad liar, ’cause you said that it would get better, but all of the sudden it’s a trash fire and you can’t put it out;

all of a sudden you’re a hostage to the things you thought you wanted; all of a sudden you’re a hot mess, and you can’t sweat it out.

[Hands pressed to your thighs, as if you could protect them from the thoughts that you’ve had that conspire against them—even tho you need them to get by.]

excuse me????

the ice cream trucks are out playing christmas music so spring has truly arrived

it’s a good thing i’m getting married because i do not have the energy for all these phone calls

“one-ly one” of course being an antonym of “an-y one”

this is fine but the English take of using “a(n), one” to mean “some possibly discriminate thing” yet “an-y” to mean “one indiscriminately” sure is a Take

apparently the Irish also use “one” to mean “any” and have to say “one and not more” if they want to mean just one

“any” has essentially the same etymology as “unique” and i gotta say not sure what the English were thinking with this one

despite having prominently displayed scrota, humans are not members of the clade Scrotifera

“vampires are cat-coded”

what country makes the best cookies ?

“we’re VERY good at messing up blankets”

so cute…

“#vore is a kind of fucking” and other takes you hear about on glitch cat

don’t want to be horny? better turn off the “Enable horny” toggle in your web browser

had a dream that Google Chrome had an “Enable Horny API” toggle but an engineer whoopsied in a refactor and deleted the “API” part in an update so it just silently made everyone inexplicably horny instead

that sound minecraft zombies make when they’re burning to death

booting into the computer i only have so i can boot into windows so i can update my controller so that maybe it will finally actually work