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my body is a machine that turns pictures of bumble into free boosts

if i was put in lord rings and had to defeat sauron i would just run in circles around him until he got dizzy and died. because i have played super mario 64 before and know how eyeballs work

i am biologically incapable of not making my food too spicy

Considering how well they adapted A Christmas Carol, I’m all for a Muppet version of Wuthering Heights.

I think we’ll have to keep Heathcliff as the human actor.

is there a good tool out there for organizing twitter bookmarks? i have a lot of bangers in there but it's a fucking dump of two years of posts and i can never find anything from it anymore

the opposite of left is

It turns out that you can, in fact, make brioche even if you fuck up the instructions in multiple places

slightly gross 

just handled an habanero an hour ago and then picked my nose

fd signifier's tyler perry video is already gone lmao

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📟🐱 GlitchCat

A small, community‐oriented Mastodon‐compatible Fediverse (GlitchSoc) instance managed as a joint venture between the cat and KIBI families.