Alloromantics: what does being/falling in love feel like?

(for your amusement, I, an aro, tried to compile some symptoms, as follows:

- "I become very stupid every time this person is in the room and maybe I like it."

- "I desperately desire them to think I'm neat."

- Sometimes you contemplate them and feel a tender sensation in your chest! )

@Betty (am ace, am probably more aroish than your average jawn)

i would say my inclination for physical touch goes up by a bit and i’m more interested in having their undivided attention as well (as opposed to friends where just hanging out and chatting is good but not necessarily better than doing a thing together or hanging out as a group).

but obv close friendship also includes some aspects of both of those things (these days my best friend and i mostly communicate by having actual phone calls with eachother, crazy i know) so hard to say!

@Betty if i’m not sure, imagining them eg. asking me out and seeing how i feel about that is probably more reliable than anything i could describe in terms of general behavior/feelings, also?

@Satsuma Everytime someone has asked me out I've been like "oh no!" so. Maybe I'm very aro.

@Betty yeah i mean if someone asks me out out of the blue i would probably be pretty awkward about it—generally my actual relationships involve quite a lot of easing in via flirting / date like but not officially a date activities but the *idea* of them being interested in me needs to be like, something at least mildly positive in order for me to y’know enjoy the flirting and date like activities

i guess “will notice/respond to flirting” is another one for the list then???

@Satsuma no, these were almost all, like. Close friends. I just kinda experience flirting as good clean fun and don't always notice it tipping over?

@Betty femme homosociality definitely walks VERY close to flirting so the question of “am i performing female friendship or performing a complex mating ritual” has definitely tripped me up more than once. hence the need to be like “okay but how would i feel if they were actually flirting??” lmao