oh fuck this one is a sequel to a sequel to a fic i actually read and liked?? i may have to (re)read the other fics in the series before i get to it

i finally (re)read them so i can get back to this

they are trying to sell me on zelda being horny but honestly i’m not sure the author knows what horny is

they’re trying to convince me of the sexiness of this outfit but i gotta say a 200-word list of garments from toe to head just doesn’t do it for me

« She briefly contemplated walking over to her nightstand and fishing a vibrator or something out of its drawers to take care of the dampness between her legs, but thought ‘why settle for that when her loving and dutiful girlfriend was just in the other room, with her long, deft fingers, adorable cock, and most importantly, that nimble, wonderful, magical mouth of hers?’ » why indeed

zelda hon your girlfriend’s mouth will not make your crotch LESS wet

i am not convinced this author has ever eaten a girl out

« I, uh, tried to make an apple pie for you, but it was… not great to say the least » i am also not convinced this author has ever made a pie

« Sleeping in was a habit that Zelda had had as long as she could remember, but had only gotten worse in her senior year of high school, just before she’d been diagnosed with depression. » sure let’s just drop that character detail in there why not

« “You’re asking the wrong person, y’know?” came Linkle’s response. “This is my first relationship, and also I don’t have parents.” » sure let’s just drop that character detail in there why not ALSO

« That was a perk of dating one of the guests of honor at a national scientific conference, their plane tickets had automatically been bumped up to first class. » no

oh no is this a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL FIC?!

« Sheik was stoned out of their mind to alleviate dysphoria » was this detail really necessary

« “I know, I know, I just… I don’t even know why I’m so nervous about this,” Linkle admitted. It was the truth, too; she didn’t know exactly what about this evening scared her so much, but it DID. » you can blame the author for that one

these two just casually having a conversation in a cab that i would definitely not have casually in a cab, because the author loves to let the setting just fade out whenever somebody starts speaking

oh we’re really doing the whole “Linkle has a dream which is oddly premonitory” thing two stories in a row huh

« Linkle had actually applied to Akkala University back when she was applying to colleges, and even been accepted, but that was around when she had begun to question her gender and stuff, and she hadn’t felt comfortable going through that somewhere other than Hateno, where she had spent her whole life. » this girl decided to transition and was literally like “i want to do that in the place filled with people who think of me as a boy”