@vaporeon_
1) boil 2-3 servings of spaghetti noodles in a quart of water for about a minute less than time said on the box (I just use 1/3 of a box of noodles)
2) beforehand (or if you're confident in your knife skills, as the water is boiling) mince 6-12 cloves of garlic depending on your amount of patience and motivation at the time. Or just use 3-4 tbsp of jarred garlic
3) save a ladle's worth of pasta water before draining noodles
4) melt 1 tbsp butter in a pan on medium heat, once it starts bubbling add red pepper flakes to taste and minced garlic and stir for 30 seconds or so. Don't let it burn
5) crank heat to low. add various umami sauces/sources. My favorite combo is marmite + nutritional yeast, but any combination of soy sauce, fish sauce, oyster sauce, and maybe even white miso works. Use a total of 1.5 - 2.5 tbsps to taste.
6) add pasta water and noodles and stir til reduction and even coating.
7) add noodles to bowl. Crack 5-10 cracks of black pepper and a squeeze of half a lemon (1-2 tbsp lemon juice). If you have green onions add that.
8) add shredded parmesan cheese until you're worried you've added too much, and then add more
9) yum