I am really wondering what exactly I am hoping to get out of social media these days, a lot of the people I have unfollowed recently I don't know if I have ever had meaningful interactions with
which, I don't know, that's not necessarily a bad thing I guess
I think more than anything else I am looking for some kind of reciprocity. I have never found it all that interesting to follow celebrities on any kind of social media, like how is this different than listening to them on tv or whatever
@pagrus I feel the same - for me, fedi is for mutuality and I can indulge in parasocial following elsewhere and through other means. I can also see that it's easier to just follow, lurk, absorb than to engage meaningfully and to offer posts in return. But this is a place that rewards that effort of real connection - or maybe did in the past more generally than now. (I suspect if I landed here new now, I wouldn't really like it - it's now a place where friends are, rather than a place to meet new friends, for me)
@compostablespork@weirder.earth yeah exactly, there was a shift for me and I guess partly I am wondering when and why that happened. because I am not really looking for new/more friends here now and the more I think about it the more I feel like that's how it's been for me for a while
@pagrus I keep forgetting I need to check follow requests (it can go for months and some are friends who changed instances) meanwhile good friends have left and it periodically occurs to me I could meet new people here but then I kinda don't want to
@pagrus @compostablespork yeah i’ve pretty much just posted followers only since i moved instances (in 2021) which feels like a clear signal i’ve shifted from trying to meet new people / have conversations with people i don’t know to just trying to talk to people i already know at least a bit
i don’t think that says anything about the platform necessarily (besides that it has the tools to let me shift gears like that)—the more i make new acquaintances the more they have to be shallow ones bc i only have so much time in a day / emotional capacity
@Satsuma @pagrus @compostablespork for what it's worth, this arc Satsu just described is something I see playing out over and over in IRL communities as well
@Satsuma @pagrus @compostablespork you show up and you want to connect. stick around long enough and your connections are set, you don't really have room/energy for more
it's why it's harder to make friends in a small town, sometimes. because there aren't a lot of other new people to connect with, and the not-new people are busy with existing connections.
@twistylittlepassages @pagrus @compostablespork yeah i thought about referencing dunbars number, which is a bit of a reductive framing re:relationships but also something that does have some amount of truth to it
