#rolandplayskotor (for muting purposes)

I seem to have got my copy of kotor to play mostly without constant crashes so lfggggg

I played the second one first for kreia lust reasons and am spoiled for the first one on macro level stuff but less so the finer points

#rolandplayskotor carth telling me about his tragic mentorship betrayal experiences... mmm smells like YAOI

#rolandplayskotor it's fascinating (non-complimentary) how central fears/gleeful fantasy about white slavery are to the star wars universe

#rolandplayskotor I've been wanting to do a light side playthrough of kotor 2 but wasn't sure of which angle to take and I just realized that I could basically do it as a xie lian roleplay. banished from the jedi for his defiance in deciding to fight a war according to what he thought was justice and all that

#rolandplayskotor bastila is such a cop god bless

#rolandplayskotor hehe... also this quote made me realize how extremely metal gear these games are in vibe and theme. [snake voice] no past, no future

#rolandplayskotor i missed capping the first bit of this monologue which was even moreso but, this conversation really felt like talking to twi'lek shi qingxuan

#rolandplayskotor (in a tone that makes it clear it brings me no joy) and if shi qingxuan was in star wars she WOULD be a twi

#rolandplayskotor apropos of basically nothing, sometimes i remember just how fucked up and twisted atton/exile gets if you play as a dark side aligned female exile. like it's femdom but in a way that's honestly too bleak for me to really enjoy but also i DO want to read fic about it. but i'm like. kind of afraid to.

and it's all offset by the just painstakingly elegantly brutal and condescending way that kreia talks about him... leading me to the sense that a DS (lol) exile would maybe agree with the judgmental nature of that read even if she disagreed with kreia's reasoning. and meanwhile atton is falling/being pulled, both organically and nonconsenually influenced by the force, into devotionfascination with her. just an amazingly dark dynamic. c4 utopia's milner/assistant but with less identity porn and a somehow even worse/more unilateral power dynamic

#rolandplayskotor last night on the verge of sleep pondering why atton works for me as a character in ways that carth doesn't, and settling on "atton seems like he's done gay for pay"