That love languages book and stuff are designed for Christian, heterosexual, monogamous marriages with a sexual component. They cater to traditional marriage between neurotypical people, where here traditional means Baptist. I dipped into it unironically once and really regretted it.

Someone recently wrote what is apparently a very incomplete comic style book expanding that 5 to 18, and addressing people of varying sexualities and genders, people who are ace and aro, platonic and familial relationships...in other words, make it useful. I think a lot of us have far more problems connecting to what we need from family members or even friend groups than partners who already devote much of their time to working out the ways to value each other.

I don't wanna buy an incomplete book tho, who wants to make our own list?

I've been working on my mental list for weeks, here's some cool dynamics that have popped up with people in my life (some I need, some I don't). What makes you or someone you know feel loved?

Immediacy (being the "drop everything" friend who shows up with ice cream)
Co-learning (trying new stuff together so no one's the expert)
Player two (being the default date, teammate or fill-in for fun things you can't do alone)
Shut up and feel your feelings (the friend who asks how you are and waits for a real response)
Calendar person (calls you monthly and on all occasions and never lets the relationship drift too far)
Adventuring (the easy-going silly scavenger hunt friend)
The Hugger (with consent)
That Friend With A Stocked Purse (ready with water, bandaids, suntan lotion they packed specifically to watch out for you)