Zelda gives Link a blowjob (29)
this guy has written SEVENTEEN Link/Zelda blowjob fics and i’m not optimistic about any of them
Zelda gives Link a blowjob (29)
so far zelda and link are both being set up as disaster bisexuals
Zelda gives Link a blowjob (29)
this author also knows that Zelda is taller than Link and thinks Link is horny about it
Zelda gives Link a blowjob (29)
despite these things they are really bad at romantic tension, or romance in general; they are clearly eager to get to the fucking part of the story because this part is making my eyes glaze over
Zelda gives Link a blowjob (29)
they’re doing the whole “Zelda secretly watched Link masturbate while they were on the road together” trope but they are failing to be horny about it
Zelda gives Link a blowjob (29)
i’m very unconvinced these characterizations resemble canon
Zelda gives Link a blowjob (29)
what do fanfic authors think “animalistic” noises sound like? what kind of animal, do you think?
Zelda gives Link a blowjob (29)
moaning is very human i haven’t heard many animals moan
Zelda gives Link a blowjob (29)
woof woof woof bark
Zelda gives Link a blowjob (29)
« now Link made a noise, though this noise was one of shock. In response, Zelda simply kissed him harder, and that seemed to work » this does not work do not do this
Zelda gives Link a blowjob (29)
this author writes pretty good dialogue which is a real shame because as soon as they started trying to fuck each other they stopped talking
leverage your strengths!!
Zelda gives Link a blowjob (29)
we have reached the part where they put “licked” in italics
that’s how you know it’s hot, the font change
Zelda gives Link a blowjob (29)
i am not convinced the author has ever attempted the sex act being described to me right now
Zelda gives Link a blowjob (29)
« Zelda knew, of course, what "ejaculation" was. She had read all the books in the castle library about human reproduction, from the ones written for children just entering puberty to the detailed medical texts meant for doctors and researchers. They had included descriptions of the orgasm and its result, and even helpful illustrations in the case of the medical texts. » Zelda has crawled the library for every single book which mentions cum
🐊
Zelda gives Link a blowjob (29)
@Lady why do the fanfic authors ALWAYS do this?
Zelda gives Link a blowjob (29)
@coriander they think zelda is a horny little gremlin with books for friends
Zelda gives Link a blowjob (29)
@coriander yes
yes it is weird
however i definitely spent a lot of time on wikipedia when i was 14, so i try not to judge TOO much
Zelda gives Link a blowjob (29)
@Lady Yeah I understand being a horny gremlin with books for friends, I just wish at least one of them would write her point of view a little differently
Zelda gives Link a blowjob (29)
@Lady It's just weird to me how universal it seems to be, at least among the fics you post about
Also I feel like they always word it almost the same way every time