i don't want to write this story but every snippet i have jotted down has been so on-point that i feel obligated to now
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my name is the goddess hylia. in order to protect humanity i set them all on a giant island and launched it up into the sky. here's a poem about that. so anyway now here's three pages about how they all fell to their deaths.
then i was born. then i joined the knight academy. then i had sex with a disembodied hand.