i should also add an addendum to this that the primary impetus for gay marriage was not “recognition of queer romance” but rather easing things like adoption, sharing healthcare coverage, visitation rights, rights to not testify against spouses in court, etc……
it is horribly ahistoric to suggest that the reason why people wanted gay marriage was because of some romantic agenda and not those very real material concerns which were profoundly affecting their lives
especially in the aftermath of HIV/AIDS, wherein having healthcare coverage was (and is) Kind Of A Big Deal