Show older

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

"Clark, we found you in this ship, and we were sure the government was gonna come knocking on our doors about this spaceship-like anomaly, but they didn't"

a handful of scenes later: the government investigates a spaceship-like anomaly

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

why did Clark feel the need to grab Lois to calm her down...

also, just, I wonder how they are going to explain, revealing Clark's powers to her on the first time they meet. Very weird.

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

Jor-El explaining the history of Krypton, especially the "we expanded out into many different worlds! but then we didn't." doesn't feel like it's in service of the plot of the film at all.

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

I'm sorry, so it's mind memory machine Jor-El's idea for Clark to become a superhero on earth, he just had this costume ready to go????

god this is dumb

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

"the only way to know how strong is to keep testing your limits"

I can now see why this Clark doesn't grow into the paragon of justice that Superman is supposed to be

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

"you're not my dad, you're just some guy who found me a field"

completely unhinged that this is supposed to be Superman

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

Clark has so many natural disasters occur in his life that it starts to feel like they are attracted to him. That he has the opposite of Domino's superpower.

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

also, Clark discovering the probe ship, that's been buried four a thousand years, like

so what I thought was going to happen...

okay so; what I think would have worked better: Clark has been Superman for years at this point. Been a hero a long time, done good stuff, has a public image.

(and then what I thought this ship was) was going to be wherever Zod was, wherever Zod ends up coming from. And that would spring the plot into action.

But nah it's just some pointless ship to be used as a plot device so that Clark knows where he comes from

and I feel like that honestly won't make a big impact on the plot

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

Lois, you're suspended without pay for 3 weeks!

one scene later: Lois trying to get the printer in the office to work

Like, I get that time is supposed to be passing between these scenes, but there's no good indicator of any time passing. She could have had another run in with Clark at some point. Show her eating ice cream on her couch. Anything to indicate time is passing!

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

What the fuck. That church scene almost felt like it was about to go somewhere meaningful, but then Clark says something fucked up (not knowing if the people of earth can be trusted??) and walks away, before the priest drags him back into the conversation??

so fucking weird

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

the fact that the Superman outfit is something he, put on for the 2nd time ever simply to disguise himself to the US government

weird

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

I do appreciate Zod's gambit of taking Lois aboard, to manipulate Clark. I do wonder if they're going to explain how he got this information, though.

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

alright, so two thoughts here:

one: the whole, Clark falling weak due to the atmosphere thing, kinda dumb, kinda seems like it exists only to get us to this flashback-like scene in Clark's memories

two: why is Zod not just lying, why is he showing Clark the destruction that his plan will entail? It seems like it would be in his best interest to lie

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

okay and the pile of skulls goes way beyond "telling the truth about it". Like he's not even trying to be a little pragmatic here?!

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

okay, well now I'm wondering where Zod's Lois Lane gambit comes into play, because he sure did throw her into a holding cell far away from Clark.

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

This Jor-El / Lois team-up is very fucking dumb, why would Zod let this happen

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

I feel like we're approaching the big fight scene at the end of the movie, but no there's still an hour left

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

I find it weird the whole, Kryptonians needing the respirators because they're not used to Earth's atmosphere, and I figured it meant they don't immediately get superpowers, like how Clark getting them in puberty seemed to imply because it was from years of absorbing the sun's radiation

but nope that lady just superjumped

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

Clark would never recklessly destroy buildings like this!!

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

ok but no, now they are implying it with Zod???? that him losing the atmosphere is making the powers swarm in? oh whatever

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

yeah, legitimately it is so confusing that Zod got completely overwhelmed by the powers but this other girl is kicking Clark's ass with no explanation. I don't like to call things "plot holes" but this feels like a plot hole.

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

ok, throwing a u-haul van at a helicopter is pretty funny

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

taking down your atmospheric mask you use to breathe (probably) in order to smirk is the corniest shit

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

this (very long) big battle ending with the villain getting away and it not being the climax of the film... just feels, bizarre, the pacing.

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

encoding that much "data" into a creature's cells... a baby creature's cells... very silly. does not fit the tone of this movie.

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

Zod bringing the phantom drive thing to terraform earth feels like it comes out of nowhere, Clark having a plan to counter it comes literally out of nowhere (as in, the first discussion of the plan is Lois saying "we have a plan"; seeing them talk about it instead of doing it off screen would have added a desperately needed character moment; it feels like these two are barely on screen together)

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

why is Lois on the military vehicle, who let her on it

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

nanomachine tentacles that look exactly like Spider-Man 2 Doc Ock's tentacles, interesting choice

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

"Computer, you can silence the Jor-El hologram?"

"Yep!"

"Ok great, let him keep talking for another 5 minutes"

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

"Krypton had it's chance" is such an absurd thing to say.

Clark would say, like, it's not worth the sacrifice. Not, "fuck Krypton".

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

oop heard the Wilhelm

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

"You know they say it's all downhill after the first kiss" who the fuck says that????? your first anything is always the worst

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

I just jumped back to hear what Clark's reply to that was and wow Clark how long have you been keeping that one in the back of your mind, junior high?

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

I finally figured out what's been bothering me about Zod's outfit. I thought it might be the stupid way his hair is arranged with hair gel, or that goatee, but

it's just that he looks like a Gears of War character, that outfit

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

Clark calmly jumps out of the way of an oil tanker so it can DESTROY A BUILDING

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

The way Zod runs up the building like a beast, it was cool when Megatron did it, but it's dorky here

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

ok, Zod in the black outfit mirroring Clark's, actually does look good. They should have led with that.

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

this 30 second scene where Zod is firing at a wall and Clark is keeping his head from moving... the people can completely run away and they just don't. Like I know, yes, fight or flight, fear stuff, people don't make rational decisions, but. They inch away from the laser, it. It feels like they are cognizant enough to move, and the scene lasts for so long.

But of course it's in service of turning Clark into a murderer because the writers are hacks.

I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

This movie is desperately lacking in any kind of story arc. It is an origin story where it expects you to know all the characters already, and then deviates from those characters completely. It turns the things you think you know on your head, but out of 0 service to the story, for there essentially is none.

The main characters spend so little time together. Clark and Lois have no chemistry. Clark and Zod have a greater amount of chemistry.

I feel like an origin story with world-ending stakes is bad. It's not good storytelling. The intent is to go somewhere from here, and it's hard to go "up" from these stakes. (And yes, but then, it does a good job of making these stakes feel weak with how it presents them. But that isn't the point.)

It feels like a film with nothing to say about Superman, while also wanting to show off how little it knows about Superman.

Anyway, look forward to watching the rest of the DCEU. Once and exactly once.

Follow

re: I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

@The_T
re: «It is an origin story where it expects you to know all the characters already, and then deviates from those characters completely.»

you have a lot of this to look forward to in the coming films...

re: I'm watching Man of Steel for the first time for some stupid fucking reason 

@alyssa haha oh no 🙃

Sign in to participate in the conversation
📟🐱 GlitchCat

A small, community‐oriented Mastodon‐compatible Fediverse (GlitchSoc) instance managed as a joint venture between the cat and KIBI families.