Choosing computer parts is hard...
Or perhaps I'm just incompetent? Do other computer touchers have this much problems with choosing computer parts? Probably not, right?
Maybe I have really specific requirements, too
Normal computer touchers don't have a hard requirement that it must have a floppy disk drive
@vaporeon_ this is purrobably most of why you’ve been having trouble i think
@aescling Is it really so specific to require a floppy disk drive and an SD card reader and a DVD drive and two more 5.25 slots for potential future expansions and a parallel and serial port and space for at least two hard drives? 
@vaporeon_ i can’t say but that definitely sounds quite unusual
@aescling Which part of that is unusual...?
@vaporeon_ the parallel and serial ports possibly, and definitely the floppy disk drive
@vaporeon_ the only computers i can remember ever using that had floppy disk drives were already really old by the time i was using them, and that was well over 10 years ago
@aescling What about parallel+serial?
@vaporeon_ can’t confidently comment, but i am certain you COULD replace those with USB these days and get away with it, if you use all contempurrary hardware
@aescling Don't most desktop computers have a floppy disk drive? Or at least, most desktop computers that are older than 10 years or so?
And I thought parallel+serial is standard equipment on any desktop computer, even a modern one, but apparently not...