the emotional whiplash from "silksong tomorrow, i believe" to "deciding whether i should ask my boss if i can go home and be with my cat in case they put him down today" feels like getting stabbed through the heart but it's not like my mom knew what i was typing about when she messaged me

if i went home to see him it would destroy me. and he doesn't know what's going on so it wouldn't be a meaningful goodbye. i spent time with him last night and this morning, and i was worried for him but not mortally. and if that's the happiest i was ever going to see him again, maybe i don't want to spoil that

or maybe they don't put him down today. but it doesn't look good

i don't think i want to drive all the way home to see a cat who doesn't understand why i'm sobbing

i don't think he's going to wonder why i didn't come to see him if this ends up being the end. i think he knows i love him

chat is it immoral to base my decision about this on the fact that i don't believe he has the ability to understand what's happening

i'm not going to change it but i need to know if it's selfish

can anyone think of a way to word "please don't ask about my cat or acknowledge this request" in a way that's short enough to fit in a discord vc status because we may need it

mom says there's a possibility that it's just an ear infection

neither of us are particularly hopeful

cat is coming home from the vet alive

he's very dehydrated, but other test results (blood work, urine) normal. vet injected fluids and steroids and we'll see how he feels going forward. hopefully he's just not feeling well and it's not a sign of deeper problems. i'm a little skeptical because he is old as hell, but he's staying with us