Health stuff, orthostatic hypotension
Strange that it's taken me so many years to realize the following:
If it makes no difference whether I'm standing, sitting or lying down to do a thing, it's almost always better for me to do the thing while lying down.
There's been a level of apologetic guilt about choosing to lie down in the middle of the day, go to bed early, or stay in bed late in the mornings.
Most people spend their days upright, and only lie down when they're unwell. 1/5
Health stuff, orthostatic hypotension
Therefore, I've considered it a moral failing to lie down unless I'm feeling quite shit. I need to feel it's justified.
If someone else is around, I might justify it out loud to them: "I'm feeling tired, gonna go rest."
Living alone, I find myself horizontal far more, because no-one is around to notice.
I've had the space to notice how I think about this, and how I judge myself.
That judgement never really served me, and I can let it go. 2/5
Health stuff, orthostatic hypotension
I have a chronic condition where my circulatory system doesn't work the way it should.
When I'm upright, my body is working harder than most people's, just to continue running the body's basic functions.
I do my best to live normally and do normal stuff.
Sitting on the couch isn't tiring for most people, and it's *silly* that it should be tiring for me, right?
Other people can work 5 days a week at a desk job without collapsing from exhaustion. 3/5
Health stuff, orthostatic hypotension
But my body works differently, and things that are normal for other people can be more tiring for me.
There are lots of things that I can only do when I'm upright. And I only have a certain amount of upright time before I'm too tired to continue.
So if I spend more time than most people lying down, that's a *good* thing, and not something I should judge myself for.
It means I'm paying attention to what I'm spending my upright-time budget on. 4/5
Health stuff, orthostatic hypotension
If I'm just reading, or doing something similar on my phone, it's probably better for me to do it lying down.
Then I'm saving my upright time and using it more wisely.
I've never been one for watching TV in bed, but maybe I should reconsider that too?
I like to do handcrafts (mostly knitting) while watching TV, but I could do that while partially reclined.
Huh. 5/5
Health stuff, orthostatic hypotension
@lookitmychicken I live with someone with POTS and they just gotta be horizontal sometimes. Lap desks and laying down are parts of life, as are compression stockings and hydration supplements. Undoing the internalized ableism we learned from society is often the hardest part of setting up life that's accessible, and they've helped me a LOT to question my own as I watch them work on theirs.
You deserve space and situations that are accessible!
Health stuff, orthostatic hypotension
@lookitmychicken @coreo i literally have to spend as much time lying down recovering from class as i do in it bc sitting sucks so much for me — and this now 2023 when I am MUCH healthier than I was when I was a more typical college age
Health stuff, orthostatic hypotension
@lookitmychicken @coreo yeah it sucks :(
I’m glad you’ve got adaptive exercise that you enjoy + that works! hard combo to find
Health stuff, orthostatic hypotension
@Satsuma @lookitmychicken I mean I'm finally able to stand for longer periods again after multiple serious conditions and I don't know how much more I'll get back but the internalized ableism is still such a strong little voice in me. I keep trying to tell it that it's okay to be as we are, and also to thank the little voice that wants to do all the adaptive exercise i can, because that just feels good.