I genuinely don't understand how a few dozen RPS from fedi server autofetch can bring down folks' websites
Are you like, set up to get slashdotted on purpose?
I pay $6 for my VPS and I've weathered 1kRPS from time to time.
It's hard not to think this is kind of a skill issue.
@noracodes i mean yeah it is a skill issue but like everyone starts off clueless at this. some of us roll good luck and start off on a stack that can handle it, some roll bad luck and start off with a nodejs server that's running a markdown renderer for every page load
@noracodes i dont really have a working theory on how you end up running into which things teaching you to do it one way or the other tho. all i know is when you don't know anything about tech, every bit of web framework marketing will work on you no matter who it's coming from and who it's speaking against
Lady, EVOLVED 
@artemis @noracodes from experience, a good way to start with something decent is to ask your girlfriend to set it up for you
@artemis @noracodes more seriously, server administration is a trade, and it’s silly to think that anyone can start off well without talking to and learning from existing tradespeople
getting taken in by marketing copy does rather imply you are not speaking to a single human being who knows their stuff